Rising Rooted

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Breathwork is everywhere. It’s in yoga classes, therapy sessions, corporate stress workshops—offered as a universal fix for stress, anxiety, and nervous system regulation.

We’re told: Just breathe. Take a deep breath. Breathe in for four, out for eight.

And for many people, that works.

But for others, controlled breathing doesn’t feel calming at all. It feels dysregulating, even panic-inducing. Instead of creating a sense of ease, it creates a sense of pressure—pressure to get it right, pressure to control the body, pressure to override discomfort rather than understand it.

If you’ve ever felt worse while trying to “breathe through it,” you’re not alone. And you’re not broken.

The Problem with the Breathwork Dogma

A lot of wellness spaces treat breathwork as an indisputable truth: If you regulate your breath, you regulate your nervous system. If you control your exhale, your body will naturally calm down.

This may be true for some. But for others, controlling the breath isn’t soothing—it’s unsettling.

Some people feel suffocated when trying to slow their exhale. Others become hyper-aware of their body in ways that increase distress rather than ease it. And for many trauma survivors, being told to focus on their breath can feel like an impossible task—one that brings up discomfort or even panic, rather than peace.

And yet, when breathwork doesn’t work, the response is often the same: You’re just not doing it right. You need more practice. You have to push through the discomfort.

But what if the discomfort isn’t a mistake? What if it’s a message from your body, telling you that this particular method isn’t the right fit?

When Breathwork Makes Things Worse

Instead of calming the nervous system, controlled breathing can sometimes amplify distress. Here’s why:

• Hyper-awareness of the body – Some people experience heightened sensitivity when focusing on their breath, making it harder to relax.
• A sense of suffocation or air hunger – Elongated exhales can create a feeling of breath restriction, triggering more anxiety rather than less.
• A loss of control – For those with trauma histories, focusing on the breath can feel like too much—bringing up sensations that feel overwhelming rather than grounding.
• A forced override of natural rhythms – Not everyone’s nervous system responds predictably to CO2 shifts, and not everyone finds stillness regulating.

For some, breathwork can feel like another self-improvement task—another thing they “should” be able to do, rather than something that actually feels supportive. And that kind of pressure can do the opposite of what’s intended.

Personal Experience: Breathwork and Neurofeedback

I once worked at a neuro-feedback centre where I often tested different relaxation techniques on myself. With an electrode cap strapped to my head, I could see in real-time how my brain responded to different exercises.

Controlled breathing? It sent my brain into chaos.

Instead of settling, my brain activity spiked. Instead of calm, I felt agitated, on edge. And yet, when I shared my experience, the response was: That’s not what’s supposed to happen.

But it was what happened.

That moment planted a seed in me. It made me question the wellness industry’s insistence on one-size-fits-all solutions. It made me curious about others who struggled with breathwork, people who had been told they were “resisting” rather than simply responding differently. Over time, I came to see breathwork in a new way—not as a universal solution, but as one option among many.

The Problem with One-Size-Fits-All Wellness

Breathwork isn’t the only practice that’s framed as a universal truth.

Wellness culture is full of absolutes—strategies that claim to work for everyone, if only they’re done correctly. And when they don’t work, the assumption is rarely that the practice is flawed. It’s that the individual needs to try harder.

But the truth is, the nervous system is complex. What feels good for one person may feel overwhelming for another.

It’s important to acknowledge that most wellness professionals genuinely mean well. Breathwork has helped many people, and that’s why it’s so widely recommended. But when the same message is repeated again and again—without space for alternative experiences—it creates a system where people who struggle with it feel unheard, unseen, and in some cases, blamed for their own distress.

This isn’t about rejecting breathwork. It’s about making room for different ways of regulating, healing, and connecting with the body.

Rethinking Breathwork: Listening Instead of Controlling

Instead of forcing the breath to behave a certain way, what if we let it be a messenger?

• Notice how your breath changes in different emotional states. Does it speed up? Become shallow? Pause entirely?
• Pay attention to which nostril is more open. In Kundalini traditions, the left nostril is linked to the right brain (creativity, relaxation), while the right nostril is linked to the left brain (logic, action). If one is dominant, it might explain why focus or rest feels difficult.
• Let your breath move how it wants to move. If you naturally sigh, yawn, or hold your breath—see that as information rather than a problem to fix.

Breath isn’t just something to control. It’s something to listen to.

Alternative Ways to Engage with the Breath

For those who feel unsettled by structured breathwork, here are other ways to connect with your breath—without trying to manipulate it.

• Breathe in rhythm with nature. Let your breath dance to the sway of trees, ocean waves, or even the flicker of a candle flame.
• Use breath visualizations. Imagine your breath flowing like water over a rock, or visualize it as a soft colour filling your lungs.
• Try colour breathing. Picture one colour on the inhale and another on the exhale, not to change the breath, but to anchor your attention gently.
• Let movement guide the breath. Instead of directing your breath, let slow, intuitive movements (swaying, rocking, stretching) shape how you breathe.

The goal isn’t to force anything. It’s to experiment with curiosity—to find what feels supportive rather than what’s “supposed” to work.

***If you’re curious about more creative approaches to mindfulness, check out my other posts about it!

Beyond the Breath: Non-Breath Mindfulness Approaches

Breath-based mindfulness is ubiquitous, yet it isn’t for everyone. If controlled breathing feels more like a source of stress than a tool for relaxation, consider these alternative approaches to cultivating presence:

Listening Practices:

Our environment is rich with sound—each note, whisper, and hum can become an anchor for mindfulness. Try focusing on the subtle layers of sound around you. Whether it’s the rustle of leaves, the distant hum of traffic, or even the rhythm of your favorite music, using sound as your point of focus can provide a soothing alternative to breath-focused practices.

Eye-Tracking and Soft-Focus Gazing:

Our vision plays a significant role in how we regulate our nervous system. Rather than fixating on a single point or attempting to clear your mind, allow your gaze to soften. Observe the way your eyes naturally move and take in the world in a gentle, unfocused manner. This practice not only relaxes the visual system but can also create a subtle shift in your overall state of awareness.

Micro-Movement Tracking:

If breath feels uncomfortable to notice, you can shift focus to other micro-movements that happen naturally. Feel the pulse in your wrist. Notice the sensation of your clothes moving against your skin. Pay attention to the subtle weight shift as you sit or stand. Presence isn’t about forcing stillness—it’s about noticing what’s already happening, without control.

These non-breath approaches offer a way to build mindfulness that respects the diversity of our bodies and minds. They remind us that there are many pathways to presence—if one method doesn’t resonate, there are others to explore.

A More Flexible Approach to Breathwork

Breathwork can be powerful. But it’s not for everyone.

If it doesn’t work for you, that’s not a personal failure—it’s just information. Your nervous system is speaking to you, and that deserves respect.

Wellness practices should never be about forcing compliance—they should be about genuine self-discovery. For some, breath control is a useful tool. For others, it’s another way the body feels restricted. Both are valid. What matters is learning how your body regulates best, in ways that feel safe, intuitive, and free.

If traditional breathwork has never felt right for you, you’re not alone. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re simply working with a different blueprint—and that blueprint is worth honouring.

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If this spoke to something in you, there are a few paths you can follow from here:

Each door leads somewhere different. It is my hope that all of them lead back to you.

<3 Rachel